Caleb's First Step on the Thousand Mile Journey

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

Chinese Proverb

God's Word very clearly teaches us that we are all sinners. Our sin nature is with us from the moment of conception to the moment of death. If we are believers, we have the Holy Spirit living in us to help us battle against our sinful desires, but the war rages on, even though (hopefully!) we are winning most of the battles.

When the doctor handed Caleb to me for the very first time, I wasn't thinking in my mind that I was holding a depraved, utterly sinful little being. However, had I been thinking that, I would not have been off the mark. That's what God's Word teaches us and that is the truth. The beautiful, sweet, rosy newborn I held for the first time three months ago was sporting a full-fledged sin nature. Just like the rest of him, it wasn't mature yet. . . of course he was not capable of exercising it in gross and outstanding ways, but give him time and remove all restraining graces from his life and I can guarantee that this sweet son of mine could potentially rival the chief of all sinners.

Caleb has been getting bigger and stronger every day. He now smiles and laughs and can steady himself in a sitting position for fairly long periods of time. He uses his hands to reach for things and his eyes to take in the wondrous world around him. He talks and wiggles and lights up when I walk into the room. Not only has he been growing and maturing in all those wonderful ways, but his depraved will has been getting stronger, too. Today, for the very first time, I saw it firmly assert itself against me.

After a nice long walk, a good meal and about an hour of playing, I decided that Caleb was due for his afternoon nap. I read him a book, gave him a big hug and laid him down in his crib. Usually, he goes to sleep with no fuss and I was fully expecting this afternoon to be the same story. However, as soon as I put him down, he began to cry. I let him cry for several minutes but when the cry became more urgent, I went in to double check that nothing was wrong. I picked him up and he gave a good burp. "Ahh, so that was the problem," I thought. I nestled him back in under his blanket and left the room. I couldn't have been more than a foot outside the door when he began screaming. Again, I let him cry for a few minutes and then went back in to make sure all was okay. I picked him up, just in case he needed to burp again. The minute I picked him up, he stopped crying and, with tear-filled eyes, flashed me the biggest grin you've ever seen. I couldn't help but smile back, to which he responded with a giggle. Oh my dear son, you gave yourself away! The first Battle of the Wills had begun. I rubbed his back briefly and softly told him that obedience to our parents is the first step in learning to be obedient to God. I told him that even though he didn't want to take a nap, I had decided that he needed one. His job was to be obedient. I told him that whether it was a smile or a scream, neither would help him win the battle. I told him I loved him and that I hoped for his sake that he would learn to quickly submit. Of course, he didn't understand a word I was saying. He just smiled and cooed at me as I talked, hopeful that his tactics were succeeding. However, he understood what I meant when I kissed him and returned him to his bed.

His angry screams (it is amazing how mother knows the difference between a hungry, hurt, and, in this case, angry cry. I think it is a simple grace God gives us to help us survive this thing called parenting.) persisted for several minutes. Meanwhile, I sat in the next room, waiting. Suddenly, about 4 minutes later, in the middle of a wild scream, he stopped. The first battle was over and Mommy was the victor.

I know Caleb couldn't understand my little spiel about obedience and love and submission to God, but I could. It was helpful to actually say it out loud. To state the goal and to commit myself to following through with it no matter how demanding his cries or luring his smiles. Today I helped Caleb take his first step on the thousand mile journey down the path of righteousness.

There will be a million tiny, seemingly insignificant opportunities to shepherd this little boy, but I must keep my eyes open and my mind focused on the goal, the thousand mile journey.